Love & Loss (The Austin Series) Read online

  He set me on the floor and as his eyes ran down my body he groaned, bit his lip and quickly closed and reopened them. After a sigh and a shake of his head he spun on his heels and left, closing the door behind him. I smiled widely, for the first time in days. I knew we still had a lot to work out, but at least we’d made a start, thanks to Lexi and her interfering ways. I emerged from the shower feeling remarkably more alert and fresh. I quickly dried my hair, brushed my teeth and did some eye makeup and moisturising and went to his wardrobe to rummage amongst my spare clothes for some clean underwear. I pulled on my jeans, a black jumper and my boots and headed downstairs, amazed I hadn’t been sick from having drowned my sorrows so hard last night. I found him in the kitchen and smiled to see him at the range.

  ‘Like old times eh?’ he grinned. I nodded and walked up to him and carefully touched his black eye.

  ‘Are you ok? This and your jaw look really sore.’

  ‘You should see the other guy,’ he joked.

  ‘Gabe. It’s not funny, it was Doug. You had a fight with your best friend.’

  ‘Don’t worry about the two of us, we’re cool. He did it to protect you Mia, and to protect me. He’s lucky he had the element of surprise as I normally beat him in martial arts class, but that first punch to my jaw really stunned me.’

  ‘Does it hurt?’

  ‘Not as much as being without you these last few days,’ he replied sincerely and I smiled. I knew the feeling, the pain in my chest had been far worse than my bruised arms.

  ‘What can I do to make it better? An ice pack or something?’

  ‘It’s fine, honestly baby,’ he nodded. I tiptoed up and gently kissed the two bruises and heard him let out a soft contented sigh. ‘Go and sit down, I’ve put some headache tablets and a jug of water out for you and Dad will be down in a while.’

  ‘I don’t understand why I’ve not been sick? I haven’t felt this rough in ages.’

  ‘I made you drink a load of water and eat a bowl of Weetabix.’

  ‘Seriously?’ I uttered, surprised.

  ‘Yes, I’ve never seen you so drunk. You kept trying to undress me and begging me to fuck you,’ he nodded with a happy smile. I sat at the table and knocked back some tablets. It was amazing how relaxed and at home I already felt with him, as if we’d just slipped back into our old routines.

  ‘So why were you still wondering if we were a couple this morning?’

  ‘You react to what you see Mia, my face, this body. Lots of women do, it doesn’t mean that they love what’s on the inside,’ he shrugged. I drained some water as I looked at him, it wasn’t arrogance, he was right, I’d seen it often enough as women ogled him.

  ‘It’s not just that for me,’ I whispered.

  ‘I know it’s not, but it is when you’re drunk and horny Mia. You were quite persistent and Dad found it rather amusing.’

  ‘No?’ I groaned. ‘I didn’t embarrass myself? Not again?’

  ‘Yes, when Lexi rang and asked me to come and get you, he drove Doug and I in the Range Rover. The three of us walked into the student bar and you were up on a bloody table singing and dancing then you wobbled, so I ran and caught you as you fell and passed out. I sat in the back of the car with you in my lap as you came back around and I had to make them turn up the music as you were mumbling some very rude things.’

  ‘O God, every time he’s home I end up coming across like a sex crazed nympho and now he thinks I’m some kind of drunken lush who table dances,’ I groaned and he chuckled.

  ‘He was just glad we got to you in time Mia. He’s been worrying about the both of us all week. Right, eat up.’ He handed me a bacon, sausage and egg sandwich on white buttered bread, which made me smile, my favourite breakfast when we were living here together, during his recovery. He came and sat next to me, watching me as I ate and smiled as I quickly polished it off. Seeing him again seemed to have reignited my appetite, for all things. I couldn’t take my eyes of him and they strayed to his crotch and I tucked my hair behind my ear and sighed. When was he going to let me near him again? I looked back up at him and saw an amused look on his face.

  ‘What’s so funny?’ I asked.

  ‘You’re looking at me like you want to eat me.’

  ‘I can’t believe you’re so ok with this, is it not even hard for you?’ I protested. He grabbed my hand and squeezed my fingers around his erection and groaned.

  ‘This is how hard it is for me Mia, it’s been bad enough seeing your pictures every day in my room, but to see you in the flesh, to watch you sleeping in my bed last night …’ He shook his head and I pulled my hand away. ‘Drink some more water then you better get your handbag, Riley will be here in a while.’

  ‘So when can we see each other again?’

  ‘It’s up to you Mia. How do you want to do this? See each other at weekends, set nights?’

  ‘You’re not serious are you?’ I exclaimed in horror.

  ‘I don’t know, I thought you wanted time out?’ He looked as confused as I was.

  ‘From our argument, to cool down and work out how we were going to stay together, not to not see each other.’

  ‘You really mean that? After everything that’s happened?’

  ‘Gabe, we had an amazing time in Edinburgh, we can be so good together. I accept that you’re domineering and controlling, you just took it a bit far on Sunday, but you know now that you were out of order and we can work together on getting you better while I sort out my problems as well.’

  ‘Do you know how much I love you Mia Page?’ he sighed happily. I smiled at him as I watched his face relax and his posture straighten a little. I stood up, straddled his lap and stroked his face as he gripped my hips.

  ‘We’re going to make this work Gabe. So tell me, what are you going to do this weekend?’

  ‘Doug will be here in a minute with Pete for a swimming session, then Dr Jarvis is coming over. Dad’s taking me to meet Tom and the foreman at the apartment tomorrow to see how they are getting on and we’re going out for a meal, just the two of us.’

  ‘Has your dad seen the apartment yet?’

  ‘No, so it will be nice to go with him. Sunday I’m cooking lunch for Dad, Doug and the guys that have been looking after me to say thank you. I have swimming Monday morning, so maybe you could come and stay here Sunday night and we can go through our lists? We wouldn’t be on our own if you’re scared of being alone with me, Dad will still be here.’

  ‘I’m not scared Gabe, I promise,’ I told him as I looked into his eyes and let him see I meant it.

  ‘Thank you, you don’t know what a relief that is,’ he whispered and kissed my cheek. ‘Riley can bring you back here then.’

  ‘Will we be able to sleep together?’ I asked, dreading the answer.

  ‘I’d like that,’ he nodded with another smile, which made me smile in return.

  ‘What about sex?’

  ‘It’s too soon baby.’

  ‘How much longer Gabe?’ I looked down at his chest and he lifted my chin with his fingers.

  ‘I’ll know when, I still need to prove to you that we’re more than just a couple who has off the charts sex.’

  ‘Off the charts?’ I smiled shyly.

  ‘Yes, isn’t it for you?’ He looked taken aback and I had to remind myself being insecure was one of the side effects of his condition at the moment and not to make some jokey remark back, like I normally would.

  ‘You never need to worry about me being happy with our sex life Gabe, I promise. How many times did we do it last weekend? How many times did you make me come? You even made me do that thing again,’ I added, feeling my cheeks turn scarlet.

  ‘Hmmm I did didn’t I? And we did do it a lot,’ he nodded and I laughed as a smile of pride swept over his face before he cursed as the front door bell rang.

  ‘I’d better go then,’ I sighed as I looked into his deep blue stunning eyes, pleased to see a bit of vitality had returned to them.

  ‘Yes you’d bet
ter,’ he sighed in return, making no move to release me.

  ‘I’ll see you Sunday then?’

  ‘Sunday,’ he agreed. The bell rang again and we just sat looking at each other until the kitchen door opened and I looked up to see Robert walk in.

  ‘O bugger, just like the last time,’ he uttered as he quickly covered his eyes.

  ‘No,’ I laughed. ‘Not like the last time. We were just talking Robert, I promise.’ I watched as he peeked between his fingers and sighed with relief and dropped his hand.

  ‘How are you feeling Mia?’

  ‘Rather embarrassed that I got so drunk that my boyfriend’s father had to come and rescue me.’

  ‘Boyfriend?’ He looked at me as if he hadn’t heard me correctly.

  ‘Yes, boyfriend,’ I nodded and looked back at Gabe who smiled happily at me. I kissed him on the cheek and he reluctantly released me and let me stand.

  ‘Mia I’m so pleased to hear that and thank you for giving Gabriel another chance. You’d better get going before Riley wears out the door bell,’ he smiled as it went again.

  ‘Go and get your handbag baby and I’ll let him know you’re coming.’ Gabe kissed my forehead and I headed up, feeling a lot better than I had when I woke up, or even for the last few days. I came back down and Robert was waiting at the bottom of the stairs and grabbed me into a big bear hug.

  ‘You’re a special girl Mia Page, thank you,’ he whispered and kissed my hair before heading back to the kitchen. I turned to see Gabe was leaning against the door frame with a big smile on his face.

  ‘Someone looks happy.’

  ‘You still want me Mia, of course I’m happy. Are we really ok?’

  ‘As long as you don’t turn all caveman and come and drag me out of the spa over your shoulder,’ I teased. ‘So you’re not being held like a prisoner under constant watch anymore?’ Doug had told me that they’d been keeping a constant eye on him all week.

  ‘No. Dr Jarvis assured them that I wasn’t a flight risk,’ he smiled.

  ‘Can I call you?’

  ‘Anytime baby.’ He pulled me into his arms and clutched me to him tightly and kissed the top of my head. ‘Thank you,’ he murmured.

  ‘For what?’ I asked as I gripped his firm shoulders. ‘I should be thanking you, you didn’t need to send us both away for a weekend.’

  ‘It’s a thank you for forgiving me and taking me back, I really thought we were over,’ he said quietly. I suddenly frowned, recalling my fears that he’d had another woman behind the door when I’d turned up yesterday morning, and he’d just said that he thought we’d split up.

  ‘Gabe, you didn’t … you didn’t have sex with anyone else while we were apart?’ I looked up at him, my stomach churning. The instant look on his face told me he hadn’t, but I needed to hear it.

  ‘Mia, of course not. I was holed up here licking my wounds, I never left the house until we came to get you last night. Jesus, what do you take me for?’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I sighed, relieved. ‘I just had to ask you know? People often rush off and have sex with someone else to get over a breakup.’

  ‘O my God,’ he tensed up below me. ‘You’re not asking me because you did?’

  ‘No,’ I replied quickly and firmly.

  ‘Thank God,’ he said with a heavy sigh. ‘Come on you need to go, just have a good time with Lexi ok?’

  ‘I will. I’ll ring you later Gabe, try and stay relaxed ok?’

  ‘I will relax now baby, you’ve no idea how much better I already feel. Go on you need to go. Have fun,’ he ordered. I looked up at him and bit my lip wondering if I could get away with kissing him again. He answered my unspoken question by sealing his lips over mine and kissing me tenderly, making my stomach knot as I stumbled against him.

  ‘Hmmm,’ I moaned against his lips.

  ‘Glad I still have that effect on you,’ he winked, as I stood slightly dazed and he let go of me. ‘Go. Now. Before I change my mind,’ he ordered with a stinging slap on my behind making me giggle. ‘God I’ve missed hearing you laugh. I love you Mia.’

  ‘I love you too Gabe.’

  I approached the Merc, where Riley stood holding the door open for me. ‘Good morning Miss Page.’

  ‘Morning Riley, how are you?’

  ‘Very good thank you Miss Page. You?’

  ‘Today I’m just excellent thank you Riley,’ I smiled. I looked back and blew Gabe a kiss before getting in the car and I waved out of the back window until we pulled out of view, I knew that it was smoked glass and he couldn’t see me, but it made me feel better. I grabbed my phone and sent Lexi a text.

  Just leaving Gabe’s to come and pick you up. Be about 15 mins. Have you already packed? Need my pills and mascara, workout clothes, trainers and a bikini if you haven’t already grabbed them. For once Lexi Clarke, thank you for being an interfering old cow <3 you xx

  Thank God, woz worried u were goin 2 kill me. Pakin dun. CU in a few <3 U2 xx

  I put my head back and closed my eyes for a while, recalling the happy look on Gabe’s face and felt a deep gnawing ache in the pit of my stomach to know after four days apart, I wasn’t going to see him again for another three. I sat up and sent him a text.

  I’m so glad we’re talking again, I feel much better although I miss you already. Please take care of yourself, I’ll call you later. I love you so much xx

  I feel the same baby, we’re going to make this work, I promise. Doug and Pete are here so I have to go, but I’ll be thinking of you, as ever. Relax and enjoy it and just promise me you’ll eat properly. I love you so much too Mia, more than you’ll ever know. Your engine Gabriel, forever xx

  Lexi was waiting downstairs with our two small cases as we pulled up. She looked surprised to see the Merc, even more so when Riley jumped out and tipped his cap at her and greeted her by name. He opened the car door and indicated to her to hop in as he took the bags away.

  ‘WTF?’ she whispered.

  ‘I know,’ I smiled. ‘Takes some getting used to.’

  ‘So you ok?’ She looked at me desperate for the news. I smiled and squeezed her hand, then put my finger to my lips and nodded at Riley as he climbed in and set off. I didn’t want Gabe’s personal business being discussed in front of a family friend.

  ‘So where are we going then Lex and when was all this sorted?’

  ‘Gabe organised it on Monday and swore Doug to secrecy until the last minute so we couldn’t back out, naturally he told me the same night.’

  ‘He’s hopeless,’ I laughed.

  ‘I know,’ she chuckled. ‘We’re off to a hotel spa just out of the city, it looks really swank so I packed you some nice clothes for the evening. It looks like you just potter around in dressing gowns and slippers all day for treatments or to use the spa facilities.’ She passed me her iPhone with the website loaded for me to have a look.

  ‘Wow,’ I exclaimed as I looked at the large old stately home, then sighed. Why did he have to spend so much money?

  ‘What?’

  ‘It looks expensive.’

  ‘Not like he can’t afford it,’ shrugged Lexi.

  ‘That’s not the point Lex. I don’t want him to keep spending like this. It’s madness.’

  We chatted about our plans for our trip home next week as we drove and it was nearly eleven by the time we made our way through the wrought iron gates and drove up the tree lined drive for Riley to drop us at the door. He helped us out before carrying our bags in through the vast oak panelled hall to the reception desk.

  ‘I’ll pick you up at five on Sunday Miss Page.’

  ‘Thank you Riley, that’s very kind of you.’

  ‘It’s my job Miss Page, but it’s always a pleasure. Miss Clarke,’ he added nodding to Lexi as he headed off. Lexi looked at our surroundings and back at me shaking her head in amazement and I smiled and announced ourselves at reception.

  ‘Welcome Miss Page and Miss Clarke. You are in the one of our suites and your first treatments
are at 3 p.m. today. I’ll call Marika to show you around while your bags are taken up to your room,’ smiled the lady behind the desk.

  We spent an hour being shown the layout and visiting the gym, pools, saunarium and ice and treatment rooms and exercise classes, a relaxation room with coffee shop and the formal dining room where we would be having our breakfast and dinner. Buffet lunch was served in another more casual dining room, where you could eat in your dressing gowns. We were shown up to our suite, where our bags were already waiting for us.

  ‘Awesome,’ exclaimed Lexi as she ran around the twin double bedded room with separate lounge and whirlpool bath suite. We even had a balcony overlooking the grounds, which included a maze. Lexi dived onto one of the beds then sat up and bounced on it. ‘Comfy,’ she grinned.

  ‘You and your mattresses, is it a tempura one again?’

  ‘Sod off teaser,’ she laughed and flung a cushion at me.

  ‘Let’s unpack and go eat. I’m bloody starving,’ I announced.

  ‘Seriously? Your appetite’s returned?’

  ‘Yes it has thank you Lex. We talked this morning and we’ve agreed we want it to work. We’re going to make a list of the things the other does that are deal breakers and hash them out to make sure we are both in agreement and can move forwards.’

  ‘Well I’ll help with that list, I can be your sounding board and add any in that you’ve missed.’

  ‘Christ, you obviously already have a list in your head Lex,’ I laughed as I unzipped my case and started sorting it out.

  ‘A few items, but I’m sure you’ll already have them covered. I’m really happy for you, you look better already.’

  ‘I feel better and I’m so sorry for being so irritable these last few days.’

  ‘You missed him and you were hurting, I get it. I just don’t want to go through it with you too often, it made me hurt in sympathy for both of you and I miss funny Mia, serious Mia is too like Georgie.’