31 Days of Winter Page 9

  I flicked on the main light and covered my eyes until I adjusted and looked outside, but all I could see was my reflection, I flicked another switch and the deck was illuminated, no sign of Dan, but there was a picnic basket on the doormat outside. I realised that the door was unlocked, he could’ve just walked straight in, there again like he said anyone could. I opened it, grabbed the hamper, then shut and locked the door, removing the key and turned off the outside light. I headed back to the kitchen and set the basket on the worktop. Christ, what was in it? It was seriously heavy. I lifted the hinged lid on one side and saw a bottle of champagne, two bottles of wine, one red and one white, and not your cheap crappy wine or champagne either, and a box of chocolate truffles. I opened the other side and there was a fresh small loaf of bread and more bacon, cheese, eggs and milk, and three deli ready prepared meals for one. A mushroom risotto with wild rice, a chicken chasseur with mashed potatoes and green beans, and a beef stroganoff with wild rice. There was also a slice of Bailey’s cheesecake, lemon cheesecake and a chocolate éclair, and an envelope with “Miss Baxter” hand written on the front. I sat at the island and opened it.

  You didn’t phone me with your list of requirements for your groceries and you must be nearly out of food by now. I tried to pick a few things I hoped you’d like as I didn’t know if you were vegetarian or not. I was worried when I came back to see all the lights were out. I think it would be a good idea if you rang me at six p.m. each evening to let me know that you’re ok and you can give me any lists for whatever you may need the following day. Again, I’m very sorry for the way I handled things earlier. You do deserve so much more after what you’ve been through and I’m sorry that I’m not the man to give you what you need. Please don’t hate me and don’t doubt yourself, this has nothing to do with you, I’m just not in a position to take things further with you, however much I’d like to. Sleep tight Miss Baxter, and I’ll speak to you tomorrow. D.

  I sighed and wiped another few tears from my face as I read the last paragraph again. I really didn’t understand men, that much was clear. I put the contents of the hamper away, keeping out the beef stroganoff and champagne, which I popped as I was microwaving my meal, and I toasted myself to another fresh start in the morning.

  Day Six

  Ellie

  The sun woke me up again and I had to relieve myself after yet another dream about Dan, where we’d got as far as heavy petting. I touched my lips with my fingertips, remembering how his had felt against them, how they’d made me feel, and quivered. I had a horrible feeling that sexy dreams and the need to masturbate was going to be a nightly and morning occurrence. Even the thought of Matt and Zac had never got me so desperate to have sex, whatever pheromones Dan was emitting needed bottling. I went for another run, this time when I reached about a quarter of the way around the island, I made a pile of rocks at the side of the path as a marker and turned back and made my way home. After another shower, a bacon sandwich and a coffee, I headed to the desk and made myself comfortable and emailed Brooke.

  Morning, checking in as promised. How are things? Is Maisie still alive? So, today is my fresh start, I have twenty-six days to write my novel and chapter one begins here. Don’t email me back now, I need to focus, I was too distracted with other things yesterday. I’ll banter with you later. xx

  I opened up my laptop and a new blank Word document and sat looking at the screen for ages. The idea of writing seemed easy, but now I was looking at that white screen, my fingers hovering above my keyboard, I was starting to revise that assessment. Writers gave birth to a story, it was their own creation. As an editor, I simply worked on their child, I was like a plastic surgeon, fixing a hare lip, or sticky out ears, or tidying up a scar that drew unnecessary attention. I just prettied things up, I’d never had to come up with anything creative or original. I looked up and out to the snow-capped mountains and the blanket of green fir, and wondered what the hell I’d been thinking.

  Something caught my attention in my peripheral vision and my eyes were drawn down to the boathouse. I quickly forgot all about anything but the sight of Dan in his jeans and a jumper wielding an axe. I watched as he picked up large logs that were propped up against this side of the boathouse and swung the axe and split them. He did it again and again, until he ran a hand over his face, put the axe down and peeled his jumper off to reveal a tight grey t-shirt clinging to his torso. I reached up and wiped my mouth after I’d licked my lips. He carried on incessantly chopping, how much wood did one man need? Then I laughed as I heard that sentence back in my head, I knew how much wood I needed and it didn’t look like I’d be getting his plentiful supply. I sat up a little straighter when he dropped the axe again and this time pulled off his t-shirt and my breathing hitched.

  However good he looked with clothes on, was nothing compared to the sight I saw in front of me. I tried to remember if I’d seen any binoculars as I’d toured the house yesterday, I could definitely do with a closer look. I whipped round, grabbed my iPad and opened the camera app, propping it up on its case and zoomed in on him. ‘Damn it Ellie, you were supposed to be forgetting men and focussing on writing,’ I muttered to myself as my eyes roved down his big flexing biceps and picked up on the light dusting of dark arm hair on his forearms. His pecs were just in perfect symmetry as was his six pack, which glistened with the sheen of sweat clinging to his torso. I ran my tongue over my bottom lip as I imagined licking his damp body. Damn him, he could turn me on without even trying. I pressed the capture button, unable to stop myself and gulped as he picked up his t-shirt and wiped his face and throat with it. I quickly averted my gaze when he suddenly looked up towards the house and right at me and I felt my cheeks, as well as my pussy, flame.

  What was he doing? I carefully looked back again, trying not to make it obvious, but he’d vanished. Was it just coincidence that he looked straight at me, or had he known I was watching him all the time? The thought crossed my mind that he’d known I was up here and had deliberately put on that show for me, but why would he do that? He knew how upset I’d been when he rejected me, why would he choose to tease me? I got up and marched into the bathroom, opened the wardrobe and unzipped my virtually empty case. Empty but for the Body Wand electric vibrator that I’d bought with Brooke. I needed some serious tension relief and I needed it now. One look at his hot half-naked body was all it had taken. I searched all around the bed, but couldn’t find a socket, then spotted one over on the wall.

  ‘Are you freakin’ kidding me,’ I groaned, it was too far away to stretch to the bed and I needed to be comfortable, I planned on going at it for a while. I ran into the guest room and smiled to see a table lamp was plugged in right next to the bed. I yanked it out, plugged in my new toy and quickly stripped off, my heart was galloping and my breathing was totally erratic. The sight of his body had flicked me into overdrive, I needed to come, and fast. I lay down on the top of the bed, the coolness of the gold comforter below only adding to the agony of my desperation. I slowly turned the dial and applied the round smooth head of the wand straight onto my clit and groaned, really loudly. ‘Holy shit,’ I groaned again. The vibrations were seriously intense and I was hit with an immediate hard orgasm that had me sit upright in bed as my eyes went wide and my jaw trembled, along with the rest of my body. I sank back down onto the bed. Even at the height of our lust for each other Zac had never made me come that quickly. I panted for a few minutes and calmed down and then went for it again, then again, and a fourth time until I heard myself scream and melted into the mattress, hearing birds tweeting while stars danced in my eyes.

  I woke up to find it was dark and I stumbled off the bed and turned on the main light and went to the en-suite and cleaned the slickness from between my thighs. That was definitely on the email agenda with Brooke tonight. What a toy! I quickly pulled on my fleecy lumberjack checked shirt, grabbed my iPhone and iPad and raced down to the kitchen feeling ravenous and saw it was just after five, no wonder I was hungry, I’d missed lunch
and had a load of orgasms as well as a run. I heated up the chicken chasseur and took the half empty bottle of champagne out of the fridge and popped a truffle in to keep me going. I padded over to the lounge and stuck my iPhone on the Bose docking station and cranked up the volume as I selected an upbeat playlist and danced my way back to the kitchen. I sat at the island eating and swigging the champagne straight from the bottle. I cleared up and giggled as I realised I was a bit tipsy again, like last night. Wine I could handle, but there was something about bubbles that just went straight to my head. I picked up the bottle and started to dance around the ground floor, barefoot, bare legged and bare … pretty much everything other than this short fleecy shirt, and then started my own karaoke party with the empty bottle as I danced. Brooke and I loved karaoke! One of the many things about our friendship that Zac had disapproved off. I skipped back to the island and propped up my iPad and sent her an email.

  I miss you already, I’ve drunk half a bottle of champagne and I’m singing “Roar” at the top of my lungs. I’ve been really naughty, I sat at my laptop all ready to write and then Dan came out to chop logs and I had to watch. Then he stripped off his jumper and by the time he stripped off his t-shirt he was dripping with sweat and I was dripping elsewhere. I broke out the Body Wand and Jesus Christ! I came four times in under twenty minutes. It’s AMAZING. Who needs a boyfriend when you have a Body Wand to service you whenever you feel like it? You need to email me your shifts, so I don’t get my hopes up that we can banter and you’re not there. I’m wondering if being here is such a good idea, I haven’t spoken to anyone all day and it’s kind of lonely. Love you, miss you. xx

  I sighed and opened the fridge again and pulled out the Baileys Cheesecake. This was the longest I’d ever been alone in years. It had been … I checked my watch, over twenty-four hours and I wasn’t sure I liked it. I was someone who loved company. How did people live like this day after day? It was seven p.m. and I was supposed to have rung Dan with my grocery list, but I couldn’t face talking to him. I had enough food to see me through until tomorrow night. I ate another truffle and took one of the large bottles of water out of the fridge and turned off the lights and headed back upstairs and played with my toy for another hour, before stumbling into the bathroom and laughing as I saw my flushed cheeks and sex matted hair. I turned to pour a bath and heard the loud knock at the front door again. What now? Had he come to leave more ready meals and another letter for me? I pulled on my shirt and went down and flicked on the outside light and screamed as I jumped out of my skin. He was standing right outside the door, just the width of the glass in the door separating us.

  ‘Dan,’ I scolded as I drank in the sight of him in black jeans and a thick black jumper. It hinted at what lay beneath, but now I’d seen the top half of his body in all its glory, it was all I could see when I looked at him. ‘I thought we weren’t supposed to be seeing each other,’ I called through glass.

  ‘You didn’t ring me again and I wanted to make sure you were ok.’

  ‘I’m fine thank you, goodnight.’ I reached out to flick the light off and saw his eyes travel down my body and realised all of my legs were on display. I hadn’t even put on any knickers as I hadn’t expected him to be standing there.

  ‘You’ve done something different to your hair,’ he frowned as he nodded up at it.

  ‘I’ve been masturbating all afternoon, it’s sex hair. Anything else I can help you with?’

  ‘You’re really going to play the childish tantrum card?’ he asked with a sexy frown.

  ‘I thought we’d agreed to be honest with each other, Dan.’

  ‘Not when you know it will deliberately taunt me, especially coming down to answer the door dressed like that,’ he replied with a flick of his head.

  ‘I didn’t know you’d be standing there. Besides, like you didn’t taunt me chopping logs bare chested this afternoon in temperatures of nearly minus … whatever? If there’s nothing else, I have a date with a vibrator to get back to.’

  ‘Fine,’ he sighed and I watched him change back into formal mode. ‘You’ll need to let me have your grocery list for tomorrow. You can call me as soon as you’re ready.’

  ‘I need to write it down anyway so why don’t I do that and leave it outside for you and you can pick it up in the morning.’

  ‘As you wish, Miss Baxter.’ He went to turn away and for some reason I stepped closer to the glass door and put a palm up on it. I watched as he froze and flexed his fingers and then clenched them into a tight fist.

  ‘Dan?’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Thank you for the hamper yesterday, it was very thoughtful and I’ll put it out tomorrow with the list and some money for what you got me.’

  ‘No money required.’

  ‘There’s no way I’m living here for a month at the rate I’ve paid and having champagne and food purchased for me too.’

  ‘It was an apology gift.’

  ‘I don’t want apology gifts.’

  ‘What do you want, Miss Baxter?’ he asked as his lip twitched upwards in a knowing sexual smile making my stomach flip flop.

  ‘What I can’t have,’ I sighed, and as his eyes locked with mine and showed me he was feeling the frustration too, I flicked off the outside light so that I couldn’t see him anymore.

  I sat at the island and turned his letter over and found a pen and wrote out a list of items that I wanted. I went upstairs, grabbed my purse and put out enough notes to cover the list and the hamper goodies from yesterday. At some stage I was going to have to travel over with him as I hadn’t brought loads of cash with me. I crossed through the “Miss Baxter” on the front of the envelope and wrote “Dan” on it and was about to seal the envelope when I stopped and read his apology paragraph again and the line “I’m not in a position to take things further with you, however much I want to.” I wrote in big letters next to it, “WHY?” then sealed it, popped it in the hamper and put it out on the door step and looked down at the lights in the boathouse. Could I really do another twenty-five days of this? It was complete torture.

  Day Seven

  Ellie

  I followed my usual morning routine since arriving here. Wake up, curse my dreams for always stopping before the good bits, masturbate the tension away and then get ready for a run. The hamper had already gone by the time I got out and I gasped as I felt the serious chill in the air. Smoke was curling out of the boathouse chimney and I was sure I could smell bacon wafting over. I needed to move, I’d freeze to death if I stood still much longer.

  My lungs were burning by the time I made it around to my marker and the water in the bottle from the fridge felt positively warm compared to the cold air I was sucking in. I headed straight for a seriously hot shower when I got in, but my hands still had a blue tinge to them. I made a mug of coffee and some scrambled eggs and turned on my iPad, smiling to see an email from Brooke.

  Shift pattern attached, on for working a solid two days & nights, picked up some extra shifts for some spare cash. Can we facetime Saturday night? We could crack open some wine and just chat like we were in each other’s lounges. I’d forgotten all about that Body Wand what with my remote controlled eggs, so thank you for that reminder! I can’t believe this guy’s THAT hot for you to overlook the whole gay issue?? And sure you’re lonely, you haven’t been single for years. You finished with Matt and got straight into a relationship with Zac, against your better judgement. Do you want me to keep you updated on him or not? And I’m thinking when you get home you’ll have decided it’s not a serious relationship you need, but just seriously great sex with loads of different guys and I’m going to take you out and make that happen for you. Get on with that writing, if nothing else you can write a hot guy-guy novel and that will soon turn you off thinking of him in that way ;-) LYMY too x

  Saturday’s a date for sure, I better check that unlimited Wi-Fi is actually included as I don’t want to push my luck given I’m already staying in here instead of the boathouse.
And yes, he is that hot Brooke, I’ve never had a physical attraction to anyone the way I have to him. I mean yes I fancied Zac, but this is on a whole other level that I’d never have imagined existing. My body just reacts instantaneously around him, but you’re right, why think about something that can never happen? I’ll look forward to some nights out and seriously great sex when I get home then ;-) And no, I think I’d rather not know about Zac thanks, this break was about me not him, that’s not to say you’re not to fill me in the minute I touch down, in case I’m that desperate I think about going back there again. You never answered my question about Maisie? Is she ok? And thank you, you’ve just given me an idea for my novel! Not the guy-guy, but the seriously hot detached guy :-) Xx

  I made another coffee and went upstairs and grabbed some cashmere fingerless gloves, pulled them on and fired up my laptop and re-opened that blank page document and typed “The Woodcutter’s Son” at the top and began to type. I didn’t let up from the keyboard until I heard the roar of Dan’s boat and cracked my knuckles as I watched him leave. Where did he go every day for four hours? I wondered. I went down and heated up the risotto, poured a glass of white wine, grabbed the chocolate éclair and loaded it all up on a tray and went back upstairs and read what I’d written so far as I ate. I nodded, not bad, not bad at all. I fought against my editor urges, deciding that I should just let the story take me where ever it wanted to go and I could look at it with my editor hat on when it was finished. I shoved my plate to the side and started typing again and it wasn’t until I realised that I was squinting at the screen, that I noticed it had gone dark again. I flicked on the small desk light and carried on until I heard the front door being gently knocked.