Forever & an Engine (The Austin Series) Read online

  ‘Ok, when’s your birthday? We could have a long weekend,’ he said as he planted a kiss on my lips. I looked at him lying there all happy, with a big madly in love with me smile on his face, it wasn’t the right time to break the news to him that it was the anniversary of his mother’s death.

  ‘I need the toilet.’ I jumped up and ran to the en-suite and shut the door and put my forehead on it and sighed. When was it going to be a good time to tell him that I wondered? I cleaned myself up with the moist wipes again, now he wasn’t using condoms I was going to have to stock up on these. I padded back to the bedroom and he was lying on his back with his hands behind his head, still looking like the cat who got the cream.

  ‘I need my towel so I can have yet another shower.’ I grabbed it off the floor and draped it down my front.

  ‘Why are you covering yourself up?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ I shrugged. ‘I’m not used to walking around to bare and exposed.’

  ‘Really?’ he exclaimed, looking at me amused.

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘Mia, I’ve seen you walk naked into your bathroom knowing Lexi was in there, you stood on my doorstep in your Basque, you were virtually naked on and in my car and you paraded around town in that tiny outfit last night.’

  ‘That’s different.’

  ‘How so? Enlighten me.’

  ‘Well at boarding school we had no choice really, so Lexi and I are comfortable to a point seeing each other nude, or having a pee and going out I’m not flashing bare nipple or vagina.’

  ‘So walking around in front of me naked doesn’t feel normal?’

  ‘No, when we’re having sex or showering and you’re looking at me all lustily it feels fine, but without the lustiness it’s just a bit intimate.’

  ‘I always look at you lustily and I hate to break it to you baby, but we’re as intimate as it gets.’ He got up off the bed and walked over to me.

  ‘I know that,’ I said as I looked at the floor.

  ‘Give me the towel.’

  ‘No,’ I replied, looking back up at him.

  ‘Mia give me the towel.’

  ‘Gabe I feel all embarrassed,’ I said blushing as I looked back at the floor.

  ‘I don’t understand why. I love your body, I think you already know that. Don’t you love it?’

  ‘Most of it,’ I mumbled, avoiding looking at him.

  ‘Which parts don’t you love?’ he asked with surprise in his voice.

  ‘My hips and my stomach,’ I whispered, really not wanting to bring any more attention to them. He reached out and held the edges of the towel as I clutched it to my breasts. ‘Gabe don’t.’

  ‘You already know I love all of you and you trust me don’t you?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘So let me have it.’ He tugged gently and I sighed and let it go. He took my hand and walked me to the bathroom and stood me in front of the large framed mirror leaning against the wall and then he stood behind me and put his hands on my hips. I looked at my reflection and bit my lip.

  ‘Gabe,’ I protested.

  ‘What are your measurements?’

  ‘36, 24, 36,’ I sighed.

  ‘Baby you have a seriously sensational body.’ He ran his hand up from my hips, into my waist and back out up my ribs. ‘See that, that in and out shape is delicious Mia and you’re in perfect symmetry. You’re not underweight or overweight, you’re perfect, so I don’t get the problem. I love your body so much, the fact that I can’t leave it alone should tell you that.’

  ‘I hate my stomach, it’s got this roundness to it. I’d love to be more sculpted.’ I thought of his ex Julie and how toned she was. He ran the palm of his hand over it where it gently protruded.

  ‘It’s sexy as hell baby. You know guys have locker room talk too.’ He grabbed my hand and ran it down the sexy v of his stomach and hip. ‘We don’t get why you women all love this bit on us, but most of us prefer a woman with a toned but slight swell to her stomach. I find it incredibly sexy and given how all the men were hollering at you on Friday in your tiny skirt, they thought the same. Baby, for me you’ve got the most perfect body I’ve ever seen and I want you to be comfortable to stand naked in front of me when it’s not all about sex. I can admire your body without having to jump your bones.’

  ‘Now it’s my turn to say really?’ I looked at his reflection astonished, and also touched at the same time from his reassurances. He laughed and turned me around and kissed me.

  ‘Ok, we’re going to have a shower together and I’m going to admire you without any sexual undercurrent. Come on, it’s nearly midday and I haven’t even had a bloody coffee, let alone something to eat.’

  ‘Thank you, I’ll try and be more at ease when I’m naked,’ I said as he hit the shower buttons and I got blasted again.

  ‘So seriously what’s it with this bit on my side that all the women drool over?’ he asked.

  ‘I’m not entirely convinced that’s the only thing they drool over on you Gabe, but even setting aside your beautiful cock, that groove is just so hot,’ I said as I bit my lip and smiled at him. I ran my finger along it and kneeled down and licked it and he immediately sprung another erection right in front of my face.

  ‘Mia that’s cheating.’

  ‘So sue me.’ I took him in my mouth gave him a very fast blow job, enjoying hearing him moan as he came in my mouth. After we were showered he pulled on a pair of his low slung grey jersey track suit bottoms without any underwear and smiled as he saw me checking him out again, this was turning into the best weekend ever. I pulled on my over the knee socks and put on his white shirt and went without underwear or mascara. I loved that he made me feel confident enough about my looks not to have to worry about wearing any makeup with him.

  We headed down to the kitchen and I poured us some orange juice while he sorted out his fancy coffee machine and made himself an espresso and me a latte. I watched him do some perfect poached eggs and we had them on toast with bacon and button mushrooms and finished off with some sweet melon slices.

  ‘Gabe, would you mind if I see the rest of the house? It looks so beautiful.’

  ‘Of course not, it was on the to do list,’ he smiled.

  ‘What else is on it?’

  ‘You, multiple times,’ he chuckled as he slapped my bottom and hustled me out of the kitchen. He took my hand and led me to door opposite his lounge and showed me into a mirror image of his, but his dad had it painted in a New England style in duck egg blue, cream and white. It had a number of comfy cream upholstered sofas and some cream leather wing back armchairs. There were black and white pictures all over the walls of Gabe at various ages and of Gabe’s mum. I listened as Gabe talked me through each one, it was the most I’d heard him talk about his childhood and decided to take advantage of his sudden verbosity.

  ‘How old’s your dad?’

  ‘41, mum was the same age. They met here at Westhampton Uni too, just like us,’ he said as he kissed my hair. I smiled at him and stroked his arm.

  ‘He’s very handsome Gabe and your mum was so beautiful, no wonder you’re so gorgeous, you had the most amazing genes on both sides. Has he got a girlfriend now?’

  ‘He’s tried dating a few woman, but I don’t know if he’ll ever get over her to be honest.’

  ‘That’s so sad, no one should be lonely. Do you mind me asking what her name was Gabe?’ I looked up at him wondering if I was nearing the limit of questions before I pushed him too far, but he smiled down at me.

  ‘I can talk to you about her Mia. It was Tabitha, but everyone called her Tabby.’

  ‘I like that name.’ I tiptoed up and kissed his cheek. ‘Do you have some happy memories of her?’

  ‘Yes,’ he said quietly. I rubbed his arm again and he gave me a half smile.

  ‘What’s your favourite one?’

  ‘How she’d make me feel so safe when I was sick or scared. She’d sleep in my bed with me and stroke my hair and read or t
alk to me until I fell asleep. I found it so hard to fall sleep after I lost her until …’ he let out a heavy sigh and rubbed his face with his free hand.

  ‘Until what?’ I whispered. I couldn’t believe of all the memories he could come up with, his happiest was something so simple, so comforting instead of say a birthday party, favourite gift or a holiday, but I realised now why he relaxed when I stroked his hair those times he was upset, it reminded him and comforted him.

  ‘Until I started sharing a bed with you. I sleep so well when I’m with you Mia,’ he pulled me into his arms and kissed my hair again as he held me tightly.

  ‘What do you think of when you’re in bed alone?’

  ‘How much I miss her. Then I start replaying that day in my head, what if I’d have said or done something different? She’d never have run after me ... she’d still be here,’ he sighed. I closed my eyes and took an deep breath and willed myself not to cry. He’d been replaying that day for eleven years, no wonder he didn’t sleep well and got stressed so easily, my heart just ached for him.

  ‘You can’t know what would have happened Gabe. You can’t keep second guessing yourself.’

  ‘I’ve just imagined so many versions of that day Mia and each time we didn’t have that fight and she’d lived and dad would have been happy and I’d have been a big brother, I just … I just felt so alone after she died. Dad was distraught and buried himself in work and I hardly saw him. I was left with a long string of nannies that I did my best to push away, because none of them were her. I became a real handful so Doug’s mum and dad took me in for a while until dad got himself together and could cope with me. It was a few years before we had a good relationship again, but I still rebelled, drinking, fighting, sex with an endless string of girls, always wanting to feel something, but too afraid to get attached.’

  ‘What changed?’ I asked, hardly able to believe how much he’d just said and all in one go. He’d never strung together that many sentences on any topic, let alone on something that was obviously still so raw and painful for him.

  ‘I realised how unhappy dad still was without her too and it made me think that maybe being detached and alone wasn’t healthy. They’d been so happy as a couple, so in love, even though they’d have massive blow outs sometimes, dad could be quite bossy and it rubbed her up the wrong way so they’d yell and slam doors then they’d be all over each other again,’ he observed. Like father like son I thought, but didn’t interrupt, he was on a roll and he needed to keep going and get it off his chest. ‘Julie had made it clear that she wanted more than friendship, so I thought I’d give it a go, we’d always got on well and I figured maybe that was the basis of a good relationship, getting on without fighting and having shared interests in common. I stuck with it hoping that in time I’d feel something, anything for her other than sometime to hang out with and have sex with and then …. then I saw you and my whole world view skewed.’

  ‘It did?’ I asked, feeling my heart racing.

  ‘I’d always laughed at people who said they fell in love at first sight Mia, but that’s what happened when I saw you. It was a like a punch in the gut, I just knew that you were going to take away all my pain and make me happy and that I wanted to do the same for you.’

  ‘Do I help Gabe?’

  ‘So much,’ he whispered as his grip on me tightened. ‘Look you’ve got me talking about it and I never talk about it. You’ve made me happy again, other than my running and swimming it’s a long time since I’ve felt like that.’

  ‘You make me really happy too Gabe.’

  ‘Really? We argue a lot Mia.’

  ‘Just like your mum and dad did Gabe, we’re hot blooded and passionate people, but it doesn’t mean we love each other any less.’

  ‘I’m so sorry to offload on you,’ he sighed. I wriggled out of his grasp and looked up at him.

  ‘Gabe it’s not offloading, it’s sharing, that’s what couples do. I’m always here if you need to talk, you can always talk to me. I just feel honoured that you feel you can.’

  ‘I love you Mia, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,’ he said softly as he reached down and stroked my face.

  ‘And you to me,’ I whispered as I put my arms around his waist and hugged him. We just stood there for a while, holding onto each other. I was so touched that he’d opened up a bit and hoped he would again. Now I knew he could talk to me I wasn’t going to push him, he needed to do it in his own time as and when it felt right for him. I knew how much I hated being prodded to talk, it always made me clam up. It was better to be in control and let it happen naturally, organically, when the time felt right.

  He took me back upstairs. Opposite his bedroom was a large double bedroom and he explained the house had perfect symmetry on both sides, other than the dining room extension. Opposite his dressing room there was a large Jack and Jill family bathroom in whites and creams with travertine tiles. Then at the back was another large double bedroom. At the end of the corridor directly above the utility room was Gabe’s study. It was full of trophies he’d won for his swimming and long distance running.

  ‘What sort of distances do you run?’ I asked.

  ‘I’m most comfortable doing half marathons, but if I trained more I could move up to a full marathon quite easily.’

  ‘You prefer your swimming though?’

  ‘I love both, but I needed to just focus on the one and swimming was my favourite, plus I got to spend time more time with Doug who I’d bonded with. You’re very inquisitive today,’ he smiled.

  ‘I’m interested Gabe. When it was all about sex it didn’t seem important, but now we’re a dating I’d like to know all about you, what makes you tick, what you like. I’ve never really been bothered about any other guys interests,’ I blushed.

  ‘Then I feel very honoured that you’re interested in mine. I’d love you to come and spend some more time at the pool watching me, it would mean a lot to me.’

  ‘I’d like that and not just because you look so hot in your little trunks. You looked so powerful but graceful at the same time when I watched you swim before, you were amazing.’ He squeezed my hand as he bowed his head and kissed me tenderly again, as he straightened up and went to move I noticed another picture of me on his desk and he smiled when he saw me looking at it. It was the one he’d taken of me while I was asleep.

  ‘I really shouldn’t have that in here, you distract me when I’m trying to study,’ he said as he tugged me out of the room.

  We took the stairs up to the top floor in the eaves. The left side he told me was his dad’s bedroom, en-suite and walk in wardrobe, he offered to show me but I felt it should be kept private. His dad’s study was directly above Gabe’s and on the right were two more large double bedrooms with another modern bathroom sandwiched between them.

  ‘Gabe do you two ever use all this space?’

  ‘Not often.’

  ‘Do you have a large family?’

  ‘No, mum was an only child of parents who had her late in life so they aren’t with us anymore and dad’s brother lives in South Africa now, I’ve a few cousins but we don’t see a lot of them. His parents live in London, so we go for a visit now and then, but we’re not really that close.’

  ‘Then why do you have such a big house?’

  ‘Dad fell in love with it and he wanted me to have lots of space to run around in as a kid, plus room to install a pool for me.’

  ‘I can see why he fell in love with it.’

  ‘You really like it?’

  ‘Gabe I love it, it’s like my dream house, the large rooms, big windows letting in all the light, the high ceilings, it’s just stunning.’

  He smiled and led me back downstairs, it had started to pour with rain so we decided to leave the pool tour until tomorrow. He took me to a door under the stairs and we went down into the basement, which spanned the rear section of the house. It had the original curved ceilings above us, painted white making it feel light and spacious. Gabe
told me that the original tiled floor had been replaced by the current polished honed concrete one. Under the kitchen side Robert had made a huge sealed temperature controlled wine cellar, completely stocked with all kinds of bottles and champagnes, I decided he was seriously crazy rich. Under the utility room was a steel door, which Gabe explained was a large walk in safe. The mind boggled to imagine what such a massive safe could hold and why it would even be needed.

  Gabe opened a door to the section under the games room and turned on the dimmer switch bringing the lights all the way up. It was carpeted in cream and the walls were all painted in a deep chocolate brown. The middle of the room had a raised platform the top of which was level with my shoulders. Either side running down the walls were two sloping walkways, Gabe took me down the left hand one and I saw that the wall ahead was a complete cinema screen. We reached it and turned around to see a steep ramp with seating for 12. There were three rows, perfectly measured out so each would have an unobstructed view over the other. Each row had two single armchairs and a double chair in the middle. Gabe pulled me into the double one at the front and pressed a button and the foot section raised up. Pressed another and the back reclined then another and I laughed as I felt my bottom and back heating up.

  ‘Gabe, I could live in this room. Could you imagine Lexi and I in here for Movie Tuesdays? It’d be awesome.’

  ‘So do it.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You could both come here every Tuesday night and I’d stay out of your way. Lexi could stop in one of the guest rooms and you’d be able to come and sleep with me with me. Everybody’s happy.’

  ‘Gabe are you serious?’

  ‘Yes, I think I’d agree to anything that made you smile like that.’

  ‘God she’d love it. What about your dad wouldn’t he mind?’

  ‘Mia he’s hardly ever here now, so I have free reign over the house, other than his wine cellar, he’s very territorial about that, but I’m free to ask anyone I want over.’

  ‘O Gabe, can we have a movie night just the two of us tonight? I’d love to snuggle in here with you, with pizza and ice cream and do a movie marathon,’ I exclaimed as I clapped my hands in glee.