Baggage & Buttons Read online

  I tiptoed up to the lounge door and peered in, the curtains were still open and the city street lights outside gave a warm amber glow to the room. I could just make out a body on the sofa and as I got closer I heaved a sigh of relief, it was him. He lay on his side, with the red sweatshirt I’d worn to go out running with him yesterday tucked in the fold of his arm. I stood watching him for a minute or two, every now and again he would twitch and moan, it looked like he was having a nightmare and as I looked closer I could see that he’d been crying.

  I felt a ball of pain in my chest to see him like that and felt awful for having left him suffering. I grabbed the fleece blanket off my recliner and covered him with it and knelt at his side and stroked his soft hair, which seemed to soothe him. I wondered why he’d stayed and why in the lounge? If he was hoping that we’d resolve this by talking again, or even screaming it out, or by having sex, why not just stay in my bedroom and wait for me to come back in? I gently kissed his forehead, then stood up, thinking how lucky I was that he hadn’t gone off to sleep with someone else to get me out of his system. I went to walk away, but felt his fingers gently circle my wrist.

  ‘Mia. Don’t leave me,’ he whispered.

  ‘Gabe what are you doing here? I thought you’d left.’

  ‘I couldn’t, I needed to be near you. You walked away from me,’ he said as he struggled to sit upright on the sofa.

  ‘Because you hurt me Gabe,’ I stated as I looked down at him. He was gazing up at me like a little boy lost, tugging at my heart strings. I could see tear tracks down his sculptured cheekbones and I hated seeing him broken like this, he was usually so full of confidence, so bossy, strong and domineering, this side of him was just heart breaking.

  ‘I know I hurt you and I’m sorry. I was an idiot, I love you so much Mia, the thought of you having lied to me made me crazy.’

  ‘Why sleep in here Gabe?’ I sighed.

  ‘You looked so upset as you closed that door and it killed me to think that I’d done that to you and to hear you crying in there was …’ he shook his head and huffed. ‘I just needed to be near you, to make sure you were ok. I didn’t want you to know I’d stayed, I was going to leave early in the morning, before the two of you got up.’

  ‘So you decided to steal my sweatshirt?’ I asked softly, as his sad puppy eyes continued to break me down.

  ‘It was comforting to have something that smelled of you, it was the closest I could get to being with you. I feel so awful Mia, you have to know that. I should’ve come to you first.’

  ‘Yes you should,’ I nodded and I looked down, realising he was still holding onto my wrist, terrified of letting me go. I sat down on the edge of the sofa at a right angle to him and he let go and hung his head.

  ‘Are you going to break up with me?’ he whispered. I knew he was avoiding looking me in the eyes as he couldn’t bear to see the response he thought was coming, as well as to hear it.

  ‘No Gabe,’ I sighed. ‘I’m not breaking up with you, but you need to understand that this wasn’t ok, none of it.’ He took in a quick short sharp breath that caught in his throat, it sounded more like a sob, which made me want to wrap my arms around him and comfort him, but I held myself back, I didn’t feel ready for physical contact yet. He raised his head and looked at me with such gratitude in his eyes.

  ‘O god,’ he sighed. ‘Thank you. I won’t do something like this again Mia, trust me I’ve learned my lesson.’

  ‘You’d better not do it again Gabe, your behaviour was unacceptable, but I can understand how hurt you must’ve felt to think I’d lied to you. I’m not going to keep punishing you for it though, it won’t get us anywhere and will just mean that we’re apart even longer and I really don’t want that.’

  ‘Neither do I.’

  ‘How’s your face? I’m so sorry I slapped you,’ I asked as I gently ran my finger over the angry bruise on his cheek. He’d received it from his fracas with Kai and my slap only seemed to have added to it. He gasped as my fingers trailed over his skin, but I knew it wasn’t a gasp of pain, but of pleasure to feel me touching him again.

  ‘I deserved it Mia. It’ll soon heal. Will you? I hurt you far more than you did me.’

  I looked at him sitting there next to me, a few teardrops still clinging to his long lashes, his hair all ruffled from his hands having worked through it again and again, either in frustration or despair, and I sighed and nodded. He reached out and gently clasped the back of my head, leaned in and tried to kiss me and I quickly pushed against his chest.

  ‘No I can’t, not yet Gabe,’ I warned.

  ‘I want to remind you Mia, we’re so good together,’ he whispered. I broke contact with his stunning big blue eyes, he could make me do anything by looking at me a certain way. Even though my body was pleading with me to let him reconnect in a physical way, emotionally I didn’t feel ready.

  ‘Gabe I need some time,’ I whispered, as I fixed my eyes on his chest, anywhere but his eyes.

  ‘Time won’t solve anything Mia, it’ll make it worse. You’ll end up stewing on this and forget how amazing we can be and it’ll drive a wedge between us. Let me kiss you and remind you.’

  ‘No Gabe, I can’t, it’s too soon,’ I said as I pushed him away again. When he came at me the third time, he was so fast, so strong, I didn’t stand a chance. He climbed over me, pushing me onto my back, pinning my hands above my head, his full body weight pressing down on me. ‘No stop, please,’ I moaned as I wriggled below him. I tried to wrench my hands from his grasp, but he was too powerful. I closed my eyes and tried to hold my breath while I struggled under him. To look at him now, or breathe him in, would break my resolve. My body needed him like water and was severely dehydrated. I was back on the Serengeti during the drought, desperate for the rain to fall to quench my thirst and Gabe was my salvation.

  ‘I love you Mia, let me show you. Once we kiss you’ll remember how good we are.’

  ‘No,’ I continued to writhe under him as I felt the heat of his breath and the softest touch on my lips. I was still upset, but his body touching mine and his lips … those lips on mine, my body just yearned for him and I didn’t stand a chance. He was right, physically we were so good, physically we seemed to be a perfect match.

  I stilled, groaned and opened my mouth, surrendering to him, putting him back in charge. I let him take me over and possess me with deep plunges of his tongue, his fingers wrapped tightly around mine, as he reminded me why I needed him so much. God this was where I wanted to be, this is what I wanted to do, I could forgive him almost anything when we were this close to each other. I melted, merging with the leather of the sofa below me and felt him pour his anguish, his apology and his heart into that kiss. He suddenly stopped and sat up, wiping his mouth and leaving me panting and boneless on my back, with nipples that stung and an unbearable throbbing between my legs. How did he do this to me? Make me react to him so strongly?

  ‘Believe me baby, I love you and I’m so sorry.’ He reached out his hand and caressed the side of my face with his knuckles. ‘I just needed to do that to prove it.’ I did believe him, after a kiss like that who wouldn’t? I sat up, still trembling and held out my hand and he looked at me surprised.

  ‘I’m not sleeping on the bloody sofa after the day I’ve had Gabe Austin and I don’t want to lie in my bed alone, knowing you’re out here upset.’

  ‘Really?’ The smile on his face was like that of an excited child at Christmas and it was nice to see after all the bloody drama.

  ‘Yes, but I’m still mad with you. Just because we kissed like that don’t imagine we’re going to have sex tonight. I really need to sleep and I’m betting you do after six odd hours in the car.’

  ‘I’m just happy to know that we’re going to be ok Mia. To be able to sleep next to you is better than I expected after my behaviour earlier.’ He reached out and put his hand in mine and I felt the familiar crackle between us as our fingers touched. I bit my lip hard, giving me something else to focus
on other than my body’s craving for him.

  We walked hand in hand to the bathroom in silence, occasionally catching each other’s eye in the mirror as we brushed our teeth. I climbed into bed with my shorts and top on and watched him walk across the bedroom. He was standing taller, his shoulders were back and the tear marks had been scrubbed from his face. This was the Gabe I knew, this version was so much better than the lost boy I’d just found in the lounge. I watched fascinated, taking in every inch of him as he removed his top and slowly unbuttoned his jeans. I could never imagine ever getting tired of looking at him, his face, that body. To think I’d come so close to never seeing it again made me take a sharp inhalation of air. He looked up and caught my gaze.

  ‘I thought you said no sex Mia?’

  ‘I did and I meant it, I’ve left my clothes on as a barrier.’

  ‘Like they’d stop me,’ he snorted. ‘Well you’re going to have to stop looking at me like that.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘With lust in your eyes,’ he said as he dropped his jeans and I felt my heart quicken and my clit scream at me to let him near me, especially when my gaze fell on that erection, straining in his tight white boxers. How could I go from hating him one minute, to needing him so desperately the next?

  ‘Well you’re standing there virtually naked and hard. Please get into bed where I can’t see you or it before I change my mind.’

  ‘It?’ he asked with a raised eyebrow.

  ‘Your magnificent penis,’ I whispered with a breathy sigh.

  ‘Well even if you beg me, we’re not having sex Mia. Just now, kissing you, that was just to remind you what we have, let you feel how sorry I was, but now all I want is to hold you while you sleep. I want you to know that it’s not just all about sex for me.’

  ‘Really great sex,’ I corrected him.

  ‘Really really great sex,’ he smiled as he crossed the room and climbed in next to me. I rolled to face him and he pulled me towards him and into his arms and entwined his legs with mine, making sure that there was no way I could get out of his embrace. I nuzzled into his chest feeling so warm and comforted by his presence, it was as if the last 16 odd hours had never happened. I felt him kiss my hair.

  ‘I really am sorry Mia, please believe me baby,’ he whispered.

  ‘I do and I’m sorry as well Gabe.’

  ‘I love you so much. Now sleep, you look exhausted.’

  It was one command from him that I was only too willing to accept.

  Thursday

  I woke up before the alarm to a familiar sensation. I was on my left side and Gabe was spooning me from behind, with an erection hewn from granite pressed against my bottom. He was kissing the back of my neck and one hand had worked its way under my top and was gently caressing my breast, the other hand was already in my shorts, his fingers sweeping over my clit. I groaned and pushed my pelvis towards his prying digits, relishing the feeling of him working on me again, bathing in the amazing sensations radiating throughout my body.

  ‘Good morning. Is this ok? I’ll stop if it’s too soon, if you need some time before I touch you again,’ he whispered from behind me.

  ‘It is too soon Gabe,’ I sighed. ‘But it’s also too good for me to make you stop.’ I gasped as he slid his fingers inside me and pushed firmly into my behind. ‘Do you ever wake up not ready for it?’ I groaned, as he continued to nibble and kiss my neck.

  ‘Do you?’ he replied. I moaned as his fingers moved faster inside me and tugged on my sensitive nipple. ‘You were already wet when I touched you.’

  ‘You seem to have that effect on me,’ I sighed with pleasure.

  ‘Did you dream about me last night? I dreamt about you, I can’t even sleep without thinking about you Mia, you fill my head all the damn time.’

  ‘I dreamt about you kissing me, like you did on the sofa last night …O god Gabe, I’m close to coming,’ I moaned, as my thighs clamped down on his wrist, pushing his fingers further into me.

  ‘I know baby, your muscles start tightening around me, your breathing quickens and your cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink. I could watch you come for hours, come for me now, I need to see it.’

  ‘I need to feel you inside me,’ I panted, as my toes curled.

  ‘No, it’s too soon. This time’s for you and you only, to relax you, to make you feel good again, but I’ll fuck you again soon,’ he murmured as his lips hit my favourite erogenous zone on my neck. ‘I want to bury myself in you, thrust into you over and over and make you scream for more. I want to feel your hot tight muscles clamp down on my throbbing cock as you come again and again. You know how good it will be don’t you? You know how good I’ll make you feel baby.’

  ‘Yes, o yes,’ I nodded, the thought of it alone was enough to encourage my body to let go. ‘O god … o god shit shit … shit … ahhhh,’ I screamed as my body arched and my legs trembled with the force of my climax. My spine tingled and my legs stiffened before I relaxed into it and softened against him in a puddle. I heard him groan behind me.

  ‘I love that sound, the sound of you coming. I love how quickly you can with me. Do you like me doing this to you?

  ‘Yes,’ I whimpered, still trembling.

  ‘You still want me? Even after last night?’ he whispered.

  ‘From the moment I first saw you,’ I sighed. ‘I can’t help myself Gabe.’ He nuzzled my cheek and let my body calm down before removing his fingers, shifting, then rolling me onto my back to look down into my eyes. I flung my arms around his neck and pulled him onto my lips, my tongue searching desperately for his, it was like our mouths were one.

  ‘O god baby … stop … or I’m going to come,’ he groaned, breaking away.

  ‘Then come for me, come inside me Gabe, fuck me and make me come for you,’ I pleaded, not caring how desperate I sounded.

  ‘I don’t want to yet Mia, besides I don’t have any condoms on me, I didn’t come here last night anticipating sex.’

  ‘Lexi has plenty, I can go and get one.’

  ‘No Mia, it’s too soon,’ he said firmly as he planted a kiss on my forehead. ‘I hurt you.’

  ‘Yes you did, but I still want you physically Gabe.’ My eyes flitted down to his encased erection pulsating against my hip. ‘If you won’t fuck me then at least let me touch you. I can make you come, like you did for me.’

  ‘I don’t want you to touch me yet, I want you to be completely desperate for me. To really want me again Mia.’

  ‘Gabe, you don’t have to work on me to make me desperate for you. I only have to think about you, or look at you. Let me touch you, let me help you out.’

  ‘No, after what I said … I don’t want you to think that’s the only reason that I’m here with you, much as I love it, it’s not just all about sex for me Mia.’

  ‘Then if I can’t touch you, I want to watch you. I want to see you masturbate and come for me.’ I pulled the duvet away from his body.

  ‘Baby,’ he sighed. His erection was straining to be released from his boxers and I could see a damp patch, where he’d got over excited. I gently pulled at the waist band and met no resistance from him, instead he lifted his bottom to help me pull them down to his hips and he sprung to attention, tall and proud. He grasped himself in his right hand and slowly began to stroke as he watched my face. I groaned as I watched his hand, fascinated. If I could learn how he did it, remember where his hand lingered the longest, where he squeezed the hardest and when he moaned the loudest, I could emulate the strokes and make it as good as it could be for him.

  ‘God this is so hot, I just want to take you in my mouth now and suck you dry,’ I whimpered and moistened my lips with my tongue.

  ‘O god, you’re going to make me come saying things like that, as if it’s not bad enough watching your face, you’re loving this.’

  ‘I am,’ I nodded grinning and he groaned again and closed his eyes and I saw a small amount of fluid escape from his tip. As his strokes sped up, I quickly reached out my
hand and wiped it with my index finger and his eyes opened wide as I put it in my mouth and sucked.

  ‘O fuck Mia, you’ve no idea what you do to me, do you?’ he groaned loudly as his back left the bed. I watched as his dick twitched and spurted, streams of fluid blasting out and landing on his stomach and chest and he sighed loudly as his body sank back into the bed. I reached out my hand and slowly smeared the warm milky blobs all over his taut stomach, leaned in and kissed him gently.

  ‘I really enjoyed that,’ I grinned.

  ‘I could tell, so did I, but it was damn fast, you’re ruining me,’ he smiled. ‘Next time we’ll enjoy it even more when I’m coming inside you and hopefully I’ll last a bit longer.’

  ‘When will next time be?’

  ‘I know if I don’t deserve it, but I’d still like you to come over to mine tonight, it’s our anniversary.’ He looked at me questioningly, waiting for my answer.

  ‘How’s it our anniversary?’

  ‘You agreed to go out with me last Thursday.’

  ‘O,’ I sat up straighter, confused. ‘I thought you’d celebrate an anniversary on the actual date we went out, like in a years’ time.’

  ‘Well officially yes, but I want to celebrate every milestone with you. Besides I’d planned something for tonight.’

  ‘I hadn’t run it past Lexi yet Gabe, but if she’s ok I’ll come and stay. I’d rather be with you and try and forget last night, than be apart and fester on it. That won’t help either of us.’ Plus I really really wanted to have sex again, the sooner the better.